We all need good company in our lives. Having a social circle is an important part of living life to the fullest, and friends play a huge role in meeting that need.
But while friends are awesome, there are times when we want something more – a special person to share our journey with.
Finding that someone can be tricky for anyone, and for those with a disability, it might feel even more challenging. For example, you might find your disability makes it harder to get out and meet people.
But don’t lose hope if you’re looking for a partner to share your life with. There are things you can do to help make that happen!
How to connect with others?
Whether you’re looking for a friend or something more, meeting new people is a great way to grow your social circle.
No matter where you are, there’s usually something going on locally, with clubs or activities you can join. It can sometimes be tricky knowing where to start, so here are a few ideas:
- Check out your local council’s website (external link)
- Look at club and society listings or check out our community support groups - there are groups just to socialise
- If you have a support worker or Connector, chat with them about your interests
- Let your friends and whānau know you’re keen to date – nothing like a second opinion to get you out there
- Or check out some online dating apps
Online dating with a disability
Online dating can be a great way to meet people, though it can feel a little nerve-wracking at first. But plenty of people have found meaningful connections this way.
If you’re disabled, you don’t have to sign up for a special dating site for disabled people (although there are some that do exist).
You can start with mainstream apps like Hinge (external link) or Bumble (external link) . They’re both dating apps, but you can also use them to make friends. These platforms can be great for connecting with others who share your interests.
If you’re looking for something more specifically for people with disabilities, you might like MyKind. (external link) It’s a platform where you can browse profiles and start chats with people who catch your interest.
You could also check out Enabling Love, a Dunedin-based service that helps people find friendships and romantic connections. (external link) They run regular meetups in Dunedin and occasionally in Auckland.
If or when to talk about your disability
At some point, you’ll likely want to share your disability with someone you’re dating. But remember, you don’t have to if you feel like it's not a big part of who you are. The big question is: when’s the best time? And how should you bring it up?
Haley Moss, an Autistic advocate for disability suggested being open and honest about your disability. "waiting until the time feels right," she reckons. Letting it come up naturally in conversation is one of the best way's to go about it. Sometimes even having a prepared statement ready helps make things easier.
Keeping yourself safe
When dating online, it’s really important to look after yourself and know what steps to take if things don’t go as planned.
Get to know the person a bit before meeting in person, and always meet somewhere public the first time.
Also, be cautious about what personal information you share online.
Check out Netsafe’s tips for staying safe while online dating. (external link)
Last updated on Wednesday, 5 February 2025